With just about a week left in the election, I have to say, this election cycle has been super fucking special.
Just not special in any kind of a good way.
It’s been special like watching the OJ trial, the Riots in Ferguson, or any of the Kim and Kanye drama kind of a way.
You know, it’s like watching a speeding train that’s out of control…filled with toxic chemicals…that crashed through a hospital…and hit a bus full of kindergartners…while on fire and about to go over a cliff.
I can’t stop watching it. I just can’t stop. No matter how much I don’t care about it.
It’s like I have to keep checking at the headlines to see what fresh hell these 2016 candidates have to show us each and every freaking day.
And If I don’t watch what’s going on, I won’t be able to go to work and pass off the opinions of the political pundits as my own.
I mean seriously, I don’t want my coworkers and family to think I am just another uninformed window licker in need of a helmet and a drool cup.
So, even if you haven’t been paying much attention, we all know that d-bag Donald is an orange faced misogynistic megalomaniac who loves grabbing the ladies by the pussy.
We also know that horrible Hillary is a corrupt two faced lying bag of crazy who has been basically running for president since Bill was getting blown by Monica Lewinsky.
I got to say, and I don’t want to devolve into name calling here, but I seriously can’t believe that these two worthless butt holes are the ones that the Republican and Democrat parties nominated.
Come on! Even Forrest Gump would have made a better candidate than these two half brained fuck wits.
And to be quite honest, the bottom line is, I don’t even care which of these two self-serving dick whistlers wins this fucking election.
Really. I don’t give a shit. At all.
Having to decide between Hillary or Donald is like having to decide to either; only being able to have sex Kim Dotcom or only having Kim Dotcom have sex with you.
Either way, you are the one getting screwed over.
There is no lesser of two evils when faced with that decision.
It’s just bad all the way around. Really, really, really bad.
And to be perfectly honest, either Donald or Hillary in the White House isn’t going to make much of a difference.
It might get a little better.
It might get a little worse.
But I don’t believe much is going to change for me, so all you diehard wack-a-doodle supporters out there quit trying to sell me on shit like;
“Trump is going to bring jobs back to the USA and build a wall to stop all the illegals from coming into the US.”
“Hillary is going keep middles class taxes low and is going to raise the minimum wage.”
I say bullshit. No matter what promises they make we aren’t getting anything good out of it. and the country isn’t going to fall apart either.
And, to be perfectly frank, the country isn’t going to fall apart either.
Both of these d-bags are out for nothing more than themselves and I don’t believe they give a single fuck about any of us regular people.
Goddamn, no matter who wins this thing I’m not going to be getting free handjobs and giant standard of living increase.
And even if I did get some free hand jobs from the government, I’d probably be getting them from some weird redneck guy named Clint who loves pro wrestling and nunchucks.
So yeah, fuck them both.
From as earlier as I can remember politicians who have been running for office are totally full of shit.
Seriously, every election is basically the same thing over and over.
Promises, promises, promises and then…well, we all get screwed.
Do people really still believe that when a candidate makes a promise that it might actually happen?
Then when these A-holes get into office people are shocked that the mother fucker doesn’t follow through on their promises.
You know how it goes:
Politician: I promise when I get elected all of you are going to get free education, free medical insurance and all the weed you can smoke!
Supporter: Hell Yeah!
Politician: I know you haven’t got anything I promised but that’s because all I do is try to raise money for the next election. Just vote me in for four more years and I promise you’ll get at least education and a little weed.
Supporters: Okay man..but you’d better come through this time.
Politician: I promise and I have a hell of a great plan to do it!
Supporters: Oh..okay then. Hell Yeah!
And this cycle of the politicians making campaign promises that is followed up by the people getting screwed keeps going round and round.
We all know politicians are totally full of shit, but we still let them make promises because they say they “have a plan.”
Hell, I have a plan and it’s a damn good one.
Make politicians accountable for the promises they make or we get to taser the shit out of them once they leave office!
Now with all that being said, I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about what’s going on with the country because I do.
I do care, a lot, just not about the presidential election.
There are so many more important races happening at the state and city levels that are far more important in my opinion the two ass clowns trying to get into the White House in this election cycle.
So, get off your lazy ass go vote!
And do me a favor, vote your goddamn conscience in this election. Don’t just vote for someone who might be the lesser of two evils.
Leave a comment below and let me know how you feel about how this train wreck of a presidential election.